Bella's Last Resort
by Beanstalks
Summary: Forget Team Edward or Team Jacob! Team Rocket, a real team, shows them how it's done when they try to capture Bella. Now in Act II: The Unova crew venture to Forks and must stop Bella from using her Death Note.
1. Chapter 1: Team Rockets Blasts In!

**Author's Notes: Forget Team Edward or Team Jacob! Team Rocket will blow you away.**

Bella-Sue had just stepped out of the movie theater with Jacob Pedoblack and Edward Stu on either side of her, holding her hands and glaring menacingly at eachother.

"Wasn't that a great movie" Bella-Sue asked. "I LOVED _Avachar_! The way they became Charmander and the...and the special effects. I _loved _it when Jake evolved!"

"I would have prefered to see that new _Star Wars_ movie," Jacob muttered. "_A Mew Hope_."

"_The Phantom Mewtwo_ is the best in the series," Edward said with much stone-cold blazing chagrin.

"_Rattatavar: The Last Flying-Type _will be better than all of those movies," cried a voice.

Bella-Sue, Edwart and Pedobear turned to see two people and a Meowth behind them. The two people had white clothes with a giant red R on the shirt. The Meowth was on its hind legs.

"Prepare for trouble," said the woman with flowing red hair.

"And make it double," said the man with blue hair.

"To protect the world from devestation."

"To unite our people within our nation."

"To denounce the evils on fanfiction." "To defeat our writing with perfect diction."

"Jesse!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blasts of at the sound of that girl's wail!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fail!"

"Meowth, that's right!" the Meowth chimed in.

"Wobbuffet!" a Wobbuffet chimed in.

"What the hell is this?" Edward said with much hardened chagrin. "Oops, _heck_."

"We're here to steal your Bella's," Jesse said.

"Why?" Bella screamed.

_Yeah, she isn't worth much_, Jacob and Edward thought.

"Because Mary-Sues are worth _a lot _to our boss," James said.

"Da baws wants to create an awmy of Sues to conquer da world!" Meowth said with a grin.

"Holy Crobat!" Bella shrieked. "Edward, Jacob, fight for me, because I'm weak and female."

"You can tell they're evil because the girl is not a brunette," Jacob said as he transformed into an Ursaring.

"I'll burn them with my blazing Chagrin attack!" Edward said chagrin-ly.

"Seviper, go!" Jesse said, throwing a Pokeball and letting out a Seviper.

"_Seviper!" _the Seviper Sevipered.

"Carnivine, Vine Whip them, go!" James said, throwing a Pokeball and letting out a Carnivine...which proceeded to jump on James.

"Jacob, use Focus Blast!" Bella-Sue commanded. "Edward, use Rain Dance!"

"It's already raining," Edward said chagrin-ly. "This is Forks, after all - the world's rainest hole."

"Then use Return!"

"Seviper, Poison Tail!" Jesse said menecingly.

"Carnivine, Vine Whip!" James said as he tossed his Pokemon from his head.

Seviper stabbed Jacob in the side. But Jacob took advantage and blasted it at close range. Seviper gasped as it flew into its master.

"Seviper, no!" Jesse cried out. She pulled out a Pokeball and made her fainted Pokemon return.

Meanwhile, Carnivine's whips wapped around Edward.

"I thought I was done with tentacles," Edward muttered.

Edward used Return. It was strong enough to force the Carnivine to let go.

"Ha!" Jacob said smugly. "I made that seviper faint while you...ergh..."

"Jacob, what's wrong?" Bella-Sue asked.

"Looks like he's been poisoned" Brock said

Oh yeah, Brock was there.

"What do I do, Brock?"

"Call him back before he gets hurt."

"I'll be fine," Jacob winced.

"He'll be fine," Edward muttered in chagrinese.

"He'll be finished!" Jesse declared. Yanmega, I-"

"Jesse?" James looked over at his partner, she was stiff as stone.

"We must go, Jesse said. "Quick, to the balloon!"

And with that, Team Rocket ran into the theatre.

Momenta later, a Meowth head-shaped balloon rose from the rooftops. Team Rocket was inside.

Jesse and James laughed. Jesse said, "Foolish girl! We'll be back."

"Why are they leaving?" Edward asked with much chagrin.

"They must be scared," Jacob mused.

"Maybe they're scared of _me_," Bella said brazenly.

"Or maybe they're running away from that Legendary," Brock said, pointing towards a Rayquaza.

A Rayquaze was behind them, firing a Hyper Beam.

**Author's Notes: More to come, kiddies! Don't worry, this is a warm-up chapter - it'll get much, much better as it goes along.**


	2. Chapter 2: HeartBrock

**Author's Notes: Thank **_**God**_** for TvTropes and their Pokedex of Tropes.**

Bella-Sue, Edweak, Jacob Bleackheads and Brock screamed in chagrined horror.

Then they realized that the Rayquaza was on a poster.

"Oh," Bella said with chagrin. "A movie poster, for _Dragonair Riders_."

"Let's get something to eat," Jacob said.

"But what about your poison?"

"Let's go to Kentucky Fried Doduo," Brock advised. "They come with free Antidotes since that mad Miltank diesease incident last year."

"One of the secreat herbs and/or spices," Edward said with cheery gloom and some chagrin.

So they went, and Jacob was healed.

Jacob took Jacob to the washroom to fix himself up, leaving Brock and Bella time to talk.

"Bella," Brock said with hearts in his eyes and bishonen sparkles around him, "my love, I am but a square in this love triangle, but will you do me the honor of joining me in a game of Naughty Tentacools?"

Bella stared at him. "Sparkles...are you a vampire?"

"We are but Starly-crossed lovers!"

Brock felt a tap on his shoulder. Followed by imense paina s Edward threw him across the restaurant.

"_Thank you_, Edward," Bella said with a relieved sigh.

"No problem." Edward said with almost no chagrin. He had applied some lipstick and was looking very Flash-y.

The four drove in Edweird's car to Casa Cullen, where they planned to confer with the other sparkley ones about the events of today.

"I can't believe there's another team," Rosalie grumbled. "Edward, Jacob, Rocket..."

"Tyler's Van," Jasper added.

"Now _that's _a good team!" Emmett chuckled.

"Emmett!" Bella whined.

"What? He has charisma, don't tell me he doesn't."

"Be that as it may," Carlisle said, "Team Rocket is still a pretty powerful team. I dealt with them when I was with the Volturtwig."

"I made cookies!" Esme added.

"They're also masters of disguise," Brock said solemnly. "Never have I ever seen those dress so convincingly as Jessie and James."

"I had a vision," Alice whispered. "One team will triumph over all. And I fear that team will be Team Rocket."

"Shut up," Edward snapped with chagrin. "You're wong half the time. You have terrible Future Sight."

"Aww..."

Suddenly the doorbell ranh.

"I'll get it!" Esme said, getting up.

"Good," Carlisle said. "Kids, we must take these three very seriously. Who knows what they can-"

Esme returned with three people in tow - a man with short blue hair, a woman with flowing red hair, and a short person that looked like a Meowth, all wearing blue jumpsuits, caps and sunglasses.

"The carpet-cleaners are here!" Esme said cheerfully.

"That's strange," Carslisle said. "We didn't call in any cleaners."

"Sure you did!" Said the woman.

"Dat's right!" The Meowth-like man said, pulling out a vaccuum from out of nowhere.

"I believe them," Alice said.

"Your female opinions don't matter," Edward said. "Men?"

The men nodded in agreement.

"Then we ordered them."

So our "heroes" continued to talk with the Cullens while the cleaners cleaned carpets.

"What are we going to do about Team Rocket?" Bella-Sue whined.

"Kill them, of course," Emmett said with a smile. "Hopefully he can kill them in their sleep, like how he tried to kill-"

Rosalia elbowed him in the stomach and Glared at him. "Not now."

Before Bella-Sue could raise an eyebrow, she felt a powerful suction above her. She cried out as her hair was being sucked in by the Meowth-like person's vaccuum.

"Stop!" Bella-Sue screeched. "Stop! _Stoooooop_!"

"What's going on here?" decried Carlisle.

"We're just _taking out the trash_," the blue-haired man said.

"Well, okay."

"Wait," Esme pondered out-loud. "You're only supposed to do the carpets. Why are you taking out trash?"

"Honey," Carlisle chided. Wifes are for kissing..."

"Not for thinking," Esme finished cheerfully.

All but the carpet-cleaners laughed cutely.

"I'm being hurt!" Bella suddenly declared as she was sucked into the ever-expanding vaccuum.

Everyone jumped up and growled at the carpet cleaners.

"Let her go!" Brock roared.

"In the name of the moon," Alice declared, "we will punsih you!"

The carpet cleaners laughed.

"Jessie, let's run!" the man laughed wickedly.

"Right, James. Ta-ta, losers!" the woman said to the "heroes."

"Meowth, that's right!" the Meowth-like person said.

"Who are you?" Edward demanded.

"And why do want Bella?" Jacob added.

The carpet-cleaners ripped off their clothes to reveal that they were, in fact...

**Author's Note: I'll just leave you with this epic cliff-hanger. Who are the carpet-cleaners, really? Will Team Rocket show up again? Find out next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Power of Luvdisc

They were..._Team Rocket_!

Everyone gasped in surprise.

"Team Rocket!" Jacob gaped. "It was you three all along?"

"They really _are _masters of disguise, Brock!" Edward said with much chagrin TO THE MAX.

"Listen, is that a fangirl squeal I hear?" Jessie said."

"It's whining at me, loud and clear!" James said.

"Sparkling in the wind..."

"Past the stars..."

"And in ya ears!" Meowth added.

"Bringing chaod at a break-neck pace!" Jessie said.

"Catching the girl with the sores on her face!" James said, pointing at Bella.

Bella-Sue touched her face.

"A rose by any other name is just as sweet," Jessie said.

"When everything's worse, our work is complete!" James said.

"Jessie!"

"And it's James!"

"And Meowth," Meowth added. "Now dat's a name!"

"Putting sparklepires in their place!" Jessie said.

"Team Rocket..." James said.

"We're in yo face!" Meowth finished.

"Woooobbuffett!" Wubbuffet said.

"Mime mime," Mime Jr. added.

"I can't breathe!" Bella-Sue whined.

"Let Bella go, or you'll be sorry!" Alice growled.

"Or what?" Jessie taunted. "You'll bad-fashion-sense me?"

"That's it, LET ME AT HER!"

"Alright, how 'bout a battle?" Carlisle suggested. "Team Rocket, if we win, you give us back our Bella. If you win, we'll give you Edward, the second-biggest Mary-Sue in the story."

"Oh, can I be the trainer?" Esme asked.

"_I'll _be the trainer. Remember, you are a woman and should stay in the kitchen, hur hur hur."

Everyone laughed at Esme. Including Esme.

"All right, we have a deal," James said.

That meadow from the meadow scene, later...

Brock stood between the two parties, off the battle field and his arms raised.

"All right," Brock said. "I'll be refereeing this match. It'll be a four-on-four battle. Winner will get both mary-Sues. Begin!"

"Seviper, go!" Jessie said, calling out her Seviper.

"_Seviper!_" it hissed.

"Jasper, I choose you!" Carlisle said. "Use Strength!"

Emmett threw Seviper into the air before it could attack. Seviper managed to use a quick Poison Fang on him.

The battle pretty much continued like that until Seviper fainted.

Jessie recalled her Pokemon and James send out Carnivine...who proceeded to hug him in a most painful-looking way.

"Emmett, return!" Carlisle said. "Go, Rosalie!"

Rosalie took her lover's place on the field.

"Carnivine, Crunch attack, now!" James declared.

"Rosalie, Grass Whistle."

Carnivine was closing in. Just as it was about to bite Rosalie's head off, it surrendered to Rosalie's Grass Whistle and fell to the ground.

"Poison Sting," Carlisle advised compassionately.

After Rosalie stug the Pokemon repeatedly, she readied a Solarbeam.

"Finish it off!" Carlisle declared.

"No, not my Carnivine!" James whimpered. "Carnivine, retu-"

Jessie kicked him down. "No, let her waste her moves; this way we can see what she can do."

Carnivine sprung up and whipped Rosalie across the face.

She stopped gathering energy and slammed to the ground.

"Oh no," Carlisle whispered.

"No, Rosalie!" Emmett roared. He was held back by Edward and Alice.

"Carnivine, where did you get all that power?" James asked.

"Carnivine," Carnivine Carnivined and blushed.

"That looked like Power Whip!" Brock said, astonished.

"All right! Carnivine, Power Whip!"

Carnivine proceeded to wrap James up with a vine and draw him closer to its maw.

"Not me, you horrible horror!"

Carnivine Power Whipped Rosalie up from the ground and threw her into the neighboring trees.

"Rosalie is unable to battle!" Brock said. "The score is tied at 1-to-1."

**Author's Note: AAAAND that's where we leave off, folks! Tune in next time to see Team Rocket battle the Cullen clan.**


	4. Chapter 4: Rose Tinted Lens

**Author's Note: LAST TIME ON POKEBALL Z: BELLA-SUE WAS CAPTURED AND TEAM ROCKET AND THE COULLENS DID STUFF. HERE'S SOME MORE STUFF. ALSO, I DON'T OWN THAT "SONIC BOOM" SONG, DRAGONBALL Z, POKEMON OR TWILIGHT. (OH GOD, AND I AM **_**SO **_**GLAD I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT.) **

"Go, Alice!" Carlisle declared, sending in Alice.

"Alice!" Alice Alice'd determinately.

James returned Carnivine and sent out his Mime Jr.

"Mime Jr., use Tickle!" James said.

Mime Jr. danced up to Alice and Mime-Mime'd.

"Aw, aren't you cute?" Alice cooed. "I love to dance, too!"

"Alice, concentrate!" Jasper whined.

"Don't worry, my visions'll-"

Mime Jr. lunged at Alice and started tickling her. She fell to the ground and laughed.

"It tickles, Jasper!"

"Idiots!" Bella snapped, still in the vacuum. "I'm still trapped!"

"Alice, kindly use Teleport," Carlisle said compassionately.

Alice suddenly vanished. Mime Jr. dropped to the ground.

"Mime-Mime?" Mime Jr. Mime-d. It looked towards James.

"I dunno," James said with a shrug.

Alice appeared behind Mime Jr. "Looking for me?" she said. "But Teleport won't woik in a Trainer battle!" Meowth exclaimed.

"We like to do whatever the heck we want if it moves the plot foreward," Bella-Sue said chagrinly.

"Oh," Brock said with a curt nod. "Like our first season. Alice, aim for the horn!"

Alice kicked Mime Jr. and Teleported away.

"HOW DARE YOU!" James snapped.

Alive continued to appear and teleport about 18 times. By now Mime Jr. was getting exhausted from looking from her and was sitting down.

"Mime Jr., Teeter Dance!" James said.

Mime Jr. wearily got up and did a hula-like dance. Alice stopped in her tracks and was now doing the same, a grimace on her face.

"What's happening?" Emmett asked.

"Teeter Dance," Jasper replied. "A Psychic-type move, I believe."

"It confuses the enemy," Carlisle murmered loudly. (Yes, he did.) "Alice, break free and use Future Sight!"

Alice stopped dancing and her eyed started to glow blue. She started to float in mid-air.

Then she stopped floating, stopped glowing and just stood there.

"That's it?" James asked.

Meowth whacked him upside the head. "Dat's bad! Don't you remember da last three or so times dat move was used?"

"...No."

"That move is going to do something really bad soon!" Jessie screamed. Then she smiled. "Wait, she's the Psychic twerp, right? The one who _always _messed up her predictions?"

"Not _always_," Alice said indignantly. "Besides, people can change their destiny-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Mimic, Mime. Jr." James ordered. "Please."

"We've covered stuff about destiny," Brock said. "Didn't you see the second movie?"

"The what?" Alice turned to him. "What movie?"  
"Mime Jr., Doubleslap!" James said.

Mime Jr. gave Alice two hard slaps across the face.

Jessie whacked James upside the head. "James! You know you're not supposed to hit a girl, even if she _is _a twerp!"

"A Hyper-Beam is fine and a Whip is fun, but dat's not cool!" Meowth said.

"It's alright," Esme said calmly. "Abuse is kind of accepted in our story."

"It's just about the kindest thing in the story, compared to the other stuff done," Jacob said.

"Oh..." Team Rocket just stared at them.

Then they all shared a good, long laugh.

"I'll go make us all some cookies," Esme giggled. She gave Carlisle a kiss on the cheeck and skipped inside.

"What a wife," Carlisle chuckled. "You never know what she'd gonna do next."

"Let's all forget our troubles with apples and milkshakes!" Alice said, giving a happy Mime Jr. a hug.

Then Future Sight kicked in.

A loud _crack _and a _boom _sounded, a blueish-white light shot down and struck Mime Jr...followed by another light striking Alice.

When the smoke of dramatic battle cleared, both Alice and Mime Jr. had fallen to the ground.

"NO, MIME JR." James bellowed, returning his Pokemon.

"NO, MY ALICE!" Jasper bellowed, retrieving his vampire.

"Both Alice and Mime Jr. are unable to battle!" Brock announced. "Next match decides the winner!"

"How convenient," Emmett said.

"That what I was gonna say," Edward said chagrinishly.

"My turn!" Jessie announced. "Go, Wobbuffet, Yanmega!"

"_Two _Pokemon?" Brock gasped. "But that's not fair..."

"Life isn't fair, twerp. Just let the others use two."

"Jessie, what are you doing?" James whispered to Jessie. "Why are you doing this all of a sudden?"

"I have a plan," Jessie whispered back. "We exhaust all of them and use our reserves to overpower and finish them off."

"That's oddly ingenious"  
"What does that mean? I can't come up with something ingenious?"

"No, not that! It's just-"

"Edward, Jasper, I choose you both!" Carlisle called out.

"I'll kill you all for hurting my beloved like that!" Jasper roared as he and Edtard lept towards the battlefield.

"Edward, use Wing Attack on Wobbuffet. Jasper, use Confusion on Yanmega."

Edward struck first: his arms glowed as he lunged at Wubbuffet.

"You're fine as long as Wobbuffet doesn't use Counter," Brock told him.

"Thanks," Edward said to him, once more with chagrin.

"Wobbuffet, use Counter" Jessie said, giving Brock a wicked smirk.

"Whoops," Brock said chagrinishly.

Edward hit Wobbuffet with his glowing arms. Wobbuffet responded by glowing pink and reflecting a force back at Edward.

Edward flew across the field and back to Carlisle's side.

"Sorry, Daddy," Edweak said sullenly and with furious burning chagrin.

"S'okay," Carlisle said to him compassionately. "You're a man, you can do no wrong so long as Bella likes you."

"_Edwaaaaaaaaaard!_" Bella whined. "Try _harder_!"

"Edward, try harder. If you lose her, you're out of the family. We need that Sue if we want to be in a story."

"Alright," Edfart chagrined.

No one noticed Jasper use Confusion and Yanmega respond with Silver Wind.

"Hello, battle going on!" Jasper announced to his adoptive father/Trainer.

"Oh, right," Carlisle chuckled compassionately. "Edward, Confuse Ray. Jasper, sorry for all that."

"It's alright, you couldn't have known that the dragonfly was a Bug-Type, and therefore has a resistance against Psychic attacks." Jasper said expositionally.

"Right-i-oh, then. Now, if it's a Bug, we'll use a not-Psychic move. Use Focus Blast!"

"But it's a-"

"Shut up and do it," the Cullens snapped at him.

Edward spat out a ball of orange light at Wobbuffet, confusing it.

"Woooooobbuuuuuuu..." it Wobbuffet'd.

Jasper did a Hadoken-like move and shot a blast of focus at Yanmega.

Jessie giggled. "If you've been battling as long as we have, you'd know that Fighting-type moves aren't so strong against Flying-types! Yanmega, Silver Wind!"

Yanmega struggled to aim, but finally attacked Jasper with Silver Wind.

"Flying types?" Carlisle stared at Yanmega's wings. "Of course! A dragon_fly_."

"It all makes sense now!" Esme said as she walked towards him with a batch of warm chocolate chip cookies on a nice tray.

"Yanmega, now use SonicBoom!" Jessie declared, pointing dramatically at Jasper.

_Sonic boom, sonic boom, sonic boom._

The resulting attack caused Jasper to faint.

_Save the planet from disaster._

"Darn," Carlisle said, slamming his foot repeatedly into the ground. "Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn!"

"Carlisle!" Esme gasped, dropping a few cookies off her tray. "Language!"

"I'm sorry, honey. Edward-Stu, use Hyper Beam."

"I don't know Hyper Beam," Edward said with angsty chagrin.

"Oh, then use Poison Fang!"

Edward ran towards Wobbuffet, teeth akimbo and glowing purple. He bit into Wobbuffet's tail.

"Wooooooooo!" Wobbuffet screeched.

Edward ran back towards Carlisle as a strange white disc shot out of Wobbuffet's tail. The disco went straight to the closed battling thing near it...Yanmega.

Wobbuffet started to groan. For a second he glowed purple.

"Wobbuffet's been poisoned!" James said.

Jame bit her nail (through her glove). "Wobbuffet..."

"Jessie!" Meowth yelled at her.

"Oh, right. Yanmega, use Steel Wing!"

"Edward, use Wing Attack on Yanmega!" Carlisle declared, pointing at Yanmega.

The two clashed furiously: wing against arm, Edward and Yanmega bounced between each other. The battle was stunning to behold.

"Edward, I have an idea!" Esme shouted. "Use Flash to blind it!"

"Shut up, my lovely woman!" Carlisle said compassionately. "Edward, use Flash to blind it!"

Edward stood still and started to sparkle. The sun seemed to shine brighter as Edward started to get brighter and brighter. Soon the whole field was filled with white light.

"_Waaaah!_" Team Rocket screamed.

"Now, Edward, use Air Slash on Yanmega and Sludge Bomb on Wobbuffet!"

"Wobbuffet, please Counter!" Jessie called into the light.

When the light cleared, Yanmega had fallen. Wobbuffet was covered in thick purple sludge.

Wobbuffet groaned and tried to use Counter. It hit itself in confusion instead and collapsed from exhaustion.

"Return..." Jessie said, recalling both her Pokemon.

"Both Jessie's Pokemon are unable to battle!" Brock announced. "The Cullens win!"

"Let's all forget our troubles with chocolate chip cookies," Edward said with happily gloomy chagrin.

"What were your reserve again, Jessie?" James groaned.

"She was going to to use smoke bombs and run off with Bella," Edward said with proud, hazey chagrin. "I'd been using Mind Reader to predict Yanmega's moves when I decided to scan your mind, too."

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

Team Rocket jumped into their balloon, which they were in already. Kind of like in the first Twilight book where Bella walked to the field they were already at.

"Not so fast!" Carlisle announced compassionately. "Emmett, Focus Blast!"

Emmett blasted Team Rocket and their balloon, sending them..._BLASTING OFF AGAIN_.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" Team Rocket said as they were blasted into the horizon.

There was an audiable gleam.

"We did it!" Esme said.

"We're heroes!" Jacob announced.

"We won!" Edward chagrined chagrinly.

"Now let's forget our problems with cookies and milkshakes!" Carlisle laughed. "Esme, get in the kitchen and make us milkshakes with Whismer on top."

Everyone shared a nice laugh.

"Emmett, Emmett!" Emmett said, refering to Bella's voice and virginity.

"Wait, where _is _Bella?" Brock asked, stroking his chin.

"We blasted her away," Edward said, almost using his Chagrin attack.

"And Rosalie is still lost in the woods..." Esme mused.

Carlisle frowned and Glared at her. "ESME GET IN THE KITCHEN SMITH DAMMIT!"

**Author's Note: NEXT TIME ON EDWARD'S BALLS Z: OUR "HEROES" MUST FIND THEIR SUE BEFORE TEAM ROCKET RUNS AWAY WITH HER. MEANWHILE, OUR "VILLAINS" MUST ESCAPE THE RAINY HOLE OF FORKS WITH THEIR NEW PRIZE. BUT WITH ALMOST ALL OF THEIR TEAM TIRED FROM THE BATTLE, THEIR TASK WILL BE COMPLICATED!**


	5. Chapter 5: You Must Be My Lucky Starmie

**Author's Note: Gentlemen, BEHOLD!**

James made sure the bag Bella-Sue was now in was properly zipped. Meowth was making sure none of their personal belongings were missing. Jessie was making sure her hair was in perfect order, which was getting quite wet from the rain.

"This stinks!" she whined. "How are we supposed to _leave _this rainy place anyway?"

"The same way we got here," James said simply.

"With our balloon? Normally we go somewhere we know about; I have no idea where we are!"

"We're probably still in the Forks region, considering all this rain..."

"And dat's nowhere close to Kanto!" Meowth whined. "It took so long to get here, it'll be more difficult now dat we have to sneak dis twerp on a plane."

Meowth motioned to Bella-Sue.

"Let's just look for a phone!" James said.

"Oh!" Jessie giggled. "Just like the time we first arrived in Johto!"

"A call-back! A continuity nod!"

Meowth smacked them both upside the head. "Now's not the time to take a stroll down memory lane! Now we need to get to da boss! I can just imagine what he'll say when we show him this Mary-Sue..."

Meowth started to imagine: _DA BOSS was in a loin cloth and covered in jelly, wrestling a Tangela and Tentacruel._

_"Boy, did is tough!" DA BOSS would say. "I sure need a crappy Deuz Ex Machina right now!"_

_And den Bella-Sue comes along, used her ultimate Sue powers to turn da tide of battle and snatch a victory for DA BOSS!_

_"Thank you, Bella-Sue!" says DA BOSS. "Thanks to your magical Mary-Sue powers, I will be able to conquer da world! And it'll all tanks to Meowth and friends. I shall give Jessie and James promotions, and make Meowth my number one cat! I'll share my bed with him, get a little closer and share our body heat-_

"Meowth!" Jessie snapped.

Meowth snapped out of his fantasy. "Huh?"

"Look!"

Team Rocket and Bella-Sue jumped into their balloon basket and looked around them: Mightyena, a dozen of them, slowly approaching them and growling.

"Eh, nice Pokemon!" James said nervously.

"Please don't eat us!" Jessie begged.

One chocolate-brown Mightyena Transformed into a human, man-like being.

"Who are you?" the man demanded. "Why are you on our reserve?"

"Huh?" Team Rocket asked.

"Quil!" Bella-Sue screamed, though, it was muffled.

"Bella?"

"Where are we?" Meowth asked commandingly.

"You're in La Push," the man said.

"La Push?"

"Mind showing us around, Quil?" Jessie asked, eyeing Quil's chest.

Quil looked down at his body and put on a shirt that matched his jean shorts. He blushed.

A Poochyena appeared next to him and Transformed into a little girl in a pink dress.

Quil picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He said, "Claire, I think it's best that you go home?"

"Aww, but Quil-" she began, but Quil interrupted her.

"Shush. Now get!"

"Aw, is that your daughter?" Jessie asked. "She's...er, cute."

"No, she's my lover."

"WHAT?" Team Rocket screeched.

"I imprinted on her," Quil explained. "That means I'm insanely devoted to her, and then I mate with her when she turns eighteen. Until then, I'm like her older brother."

"...That is so wrong on so many levels," James said.

Quil roared, "How is it wrong? I love her, she loves me!"

"_We're a happy family_," Clair sang.

"She has a choice if she'll mate with me, anyway. Well, not really, she's kind of pressured into it, seeing as I'm an authority figure..."

"Say no more, I understand!" Jessie said. "It's romantic, isn't it!"

"Right. Our children will know Hyper Beam at level 1!"

"Jessie-" James began, but Jessie put her hand over his mouth.

"Let's talk more over dinner, _friend_," Jessie said cheerfully.

James, Meowth and Bella-Sue just looked at her.

"Very well," Quil said.

Quil, Claire and the Mightyena pack led them to a barn, where they feasted on small amounts of animal and oats.

Night soon fell, and an old man in a wheelchair stopped by to allow Team Rocket to next in the barn for just that night, then they'd have to be on their merry way. He also made Team Rocket promise not to tell outsiders of what they saw in La Push.

"Jacob's not here yet, Quil," the man said to Quil. They were at the man's house, discussing Team Rocket and Jacob's being late.

"He hasn't called, huh?" Quil asked. "Don't worry, he's a good boy."

"I know he is. It's just that...Ever since he's gotten involved with that Swan girl and has been in that love triangle with the vampire, he's been getting into trouble."

"What sort of trouble?"

"You know, riding a bike without a helmet, ripping apart people - vampire monsters, but still people, in a sense. Next he'll be teaming up with the vampires or molesting babies right when they're born. No offense."

"None taken. So what are we going to do about those people?"

"Jannie, Jem and Moyven?"

"Team Rocket don't look quite honest. I think we should make sure they don't talk and kill-"

"No, Quil, we do _not _need to kill. _We _are not those monster vampire freaks. I trust that they will not tell anyone about us."

"But-"

"Not another word, Quilava Ateara."

"Full name basis, lame!"

"Now go check on those Rockettes and make sure they're okay."

Quil nodded and left towards the barn that housed the Rockets. Quil opened the barn doors and looked inside.

Nothing. Team Rocket was gone. Peering into their food supply, all of their food was gone too.

"Darn it to heck!" Quil snapped.

He ran to tell the man in the wheelchair, whose name was Billy, by the way. Billy's wife is dead and has three or four kids. He misses his wife, but he has a little crush on a certain parent.

"Billy!" Quil roared as he burst into Billy's house through the back door.

Quil noticed two boots slink out the window in the living room.

Billy yawned and wheeled next to him. "What is is, Quilava?"

"Uh, didn't you just see something?"

"See what?"

"Someone sneaking out-"

"How's Team Socket?"

"They're gone, along with all our food, because we're poor and racist stereotypes."

"Indeed."

A person named Embry ran in and said, "Quil, guess what?"

"What is it, Embry?"

"Claire's been kidnapped!"

DUN DUN DUN.

**Author's Note: DUN DUN DUN. You may have noticed that TR (Team Rocket, durr) have been acting out-of-character and smarter than usual. I decided to incorporate that into the story. :P**


	6. Chapter 6: All The Seaking's Men

**Anyone going to see **_**Eclipse**_**? More like **_**Ellipsis**_**, am I right? No? Well, don't forget to review. Team Rocket FTW.**

The Cullen clan and Jacob continued to look for Team Rocket and Bella: Esme looked in the kitchen and laundry room, Alice looked in her closet, Emmett looked in a local _Hoothooters_, Jasper and Carlisle looked in the meadow, and Jacob and Edward decided to search around La Push.

"This is all your fauly," Edward chagrin.

"How is it _my _fault?" Jacob said with almost equal chagrin."

"If if wasn't for you, there wouldn't be any teams, hence to _Team _Rocket."

"Ooooh. Well, whoops."

It was dark, so the boys were carrying flashlights.

_"What took you so long?" _said a man's voice.

"What was that?" Jacob asked Edward.

"Be quiet and sneak up to that bush," Edward ordered.

They snuck up behind a bush and peeked to see two people and a Meowth. They were covered in mud, branches and leaves, and were carrying hefty sacks. The two people were wearing white uniforms with a large red _R_on each chest. The woman had flowing hair, the man had short blue hair, and the Meowth was standing upright.

"I had to do _things_," the woman whined. "_Horrible, horrible things_to get this food from that old man! I can never wear nail polish again!"

"What did-" the Meowth began, but the man covered its mouth and said, "You don't want to know, Meowth."

"_Meowth_," Jacob whispered. "Isn't that the name of Team Rocket's Meowth?"

"It can't be them, though," Edward chagrined chagrinly. "Does that _look _like them?"

"Oh, right. Never mind, then."

"Meowth, that's that?" the Meowth declared. "I heard something over der."

It pointed in Edward and Jacob's general direction.

Edward and Jacob sprung up and hissed.

"Yipes, it's the twerps!" the man cried out.

"Hey, that poor twerp looks like that old man in the wheelchair," the woman said, pointing at Jacob.

"What about my father?" Jacob asked angrily.

"He's a _horrible, horrible _old man."

"How dare you!"

A small whimper came from the sack that Meowth was carrying.

"Bella?" Jacob asked, looking at the bag. "The bag's too small for her..."

"It's not Bella," Edward chagrinesed. "Someone who has a mind to read. Er, I mean-"

"Enough," the man said. "You twerps better get read for a battle!"

"But who are you?" Jacob asked.

The man, woman and Meowth looked at each other and smiled.

"We're beuilding a spa here," the woman explained. "We're just using the supplies in our sacks to set up a mud bath. Would you like to relax with us?"

"Sure!" Jacob laughed. "Let me just get my wallet and...Oh, wait, I'm poor."

"But they _can't _be setting up a spa here," Edward chagrined. "This is a heavily-wooded area that's _protected_. Not to mention it's on a reserve."

"Um, we live on da reserve?" the Meowth said.

"Yes!" the man said. "We just had a talk with a, uh, Mr..."

"Billy Black," the woman said, going into a fetal position and whimpering.

"Yes, a Mr. Billy Black willingly gave us _permission_ to build on his reserve and bring in some money."

"Then why do you have two arms?" Edward snapped with blazing hot chagrin coldly.

The man and the Meowth stared at Edward. The woman was turned away and still in a fetal position.

"He's right," Jacob said, finally understanding. "If you're building a spa, _then why do you have _two _arms?_"

The man sighed. "Jessie, Haze them, please."

The woman bounced a Pokeball over, which let out a Seviper. It opened its mouth and let out a Haze at Edward and Jacob.

When the smoke cleared, the man, woman, Meowth and their sacks were gone.

"Where did they go?" Edward asked with much chagrin balanced on his cracking voice.

"Can't you read any of their minds close by?" Jacob snapped.

Edward looked away in chagrin. "I couldn't."

"What?"

"I couldn't, okay? They're just like Bella - no minds to read."

Jacob sighed. "Then I guess it's up to me to sniff them out.

**Who are these mysterious people, and why can't Edward read their minds? And where is Team Rocket right now?**


	7. Chapter 7: Return to Sender

...Okay?"

**You know, reviews would be nice. Actually, I'd rather have a bunch of pissed off fantards Houndooming me, I want to laugh.**

Jacob sniffed around for a bit before leaping up from the ground.

"What is it?" Edward asked chagrinly.

"The smell of the Haze is mixed in, but I can sort of, kind of smell the trail they left. They went that-a-way."

Edward was chagrined, but he picked Jacob up and they ran at an amazing pace towards the mysterious three.

Meanwhile, the mysterious three decided to rest. They dropped their sacks and started panting.

"Close call there," the man said.

"I know, right?" the woman responded.

"But da twerps didn't seem to recognize us," the talking Meowth said to them. "Isn't dat weird? We're not even _wearing _disguises."

"Maybe it has to do with the mud they mentioned?" the woman mused.

"Or the two arms," the man put in. "But I don't know what that has to do with anything-"

"Seviper!" the Seviper hissed Seviperishly. It motioned towards the bushed.

"I hear something," Jessie murmured.

The Meowth extended its claws and said, "Time to get ready for a fight, boys."

"I'm a girl!"

"Whatever!"

Edward and Jacob ran towards them, flashlights blazing. Edward chagrinly put Jacob down and they growled.

"Seviper, Poison Tail!" Jessie commanded, pointing dramatically at the duo.

Seviper complied, its tail glowed purple as it lunged at Edwart and Jacobear. Its tail _slammed_ into the earth, Jacob and Edward leaping up to dodge the attack.

Edward used Supersonic,but his attack _missed _Seviper.

Jacob used Fury Swipes, but only did a minimal amount of damage.

"It's no use!" Edward whined in chagrin. "These guys are just too strong?"

"But _who are they_?" Jacob asked.

The mysterious three wiped the mud off them.

"It's us, you twerp!" the woman said.

Edward and Jacob just stared at her in confusion.

The man sighed and the three cleaned themselves up, removing any twigs and leaves on their persons.

They were...TEAM ROCKET!

Edward and Jacob gasped in chagrined surprise.

"It was _you_?" Jacoba nd Edward screeched in chagrin.

"What have you dont with my Bella?" Edward bellowed with brazenly hot icy chagrin. "I swear to Smith, if you touched her I will beat you like I plan to do to Bella at night during our honeymoon."

Jacob looked at him. "...Dude."

Seviper lunged at Edward, who _just barely _dodged the attack.

"They're...so strong..." Edward whispered with chagrined chagrinese chagrin. "What's happened to them?"

"He's right," Meowth whispered to his team-mates. "We're doing pretty good so far."

"I guess we just needed some good food and rest?" James guessed.

"Good food and rest nothing!" Jessie whispered back. "We're just good is all. Better than them, in fact. Remember the way James's Carnivine did away with that blond twerp?"

"Come to think of it, whatever happened to her."

"Wing Attack!" Edward declared, slamming his glowing arms into Seviper. Seviper cried out as it slammed into thr ground.

"Uh oh," Jessie said, turning her focus back to the battle. "Seviper, use Haze!"

Seviper shot out another thick Haze.

This time, Jacob and Edward were ready.

Edward flapped his _arms_, clearing away most of the nearby Haze. Jacob _shot out a Hyper Beam _into the remaining Haze.

"Poison Fang!" Jessie commanded.

Seviper, fangs emitting a purple glow, lunged out of the Haze and _struck _Edward in the left shoulder, instantly poisoning him.

Edward grabbed at his wound. "Ow!" he cried with chagrined chagrin on the tips of his chagrined tongue.

Team Rocket laughed menacingly. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You must _faint_!" Jessie roared, pointing evilly ad Edward and Jacob.

Seviper started lunging at them, Jessie screaming "Die!" with every strike her Pokemon made. Edward and Jacob continued to dodge the attacks, but they were backing into a tree-filled corner. The ground was broken from where Seviper's tail would land.

"Die, die, die, die!" Jessie chanted.

"Uh, Jessie, don't you think you're going a little too far?" James asked her, sounding genuinely worried. "We're not supposed to kill them!"

Jessie but her hand over James's mouth.

"He's right, Jessie," Meowth said nervously. "We don't want to _kill _anybody, just ruin their lives!"

"Seviper, Iron Tail!" Jessie Screeched.

Jacob Protected Edward, leaping in front of him and deflecting Seviper with a Fighting move.

"Take-Down!" Jacob yelled, lunging at Seviper.

"Protect!" Jessie said, and a Protect appeared in front of Seviper, _protecting_ it from harm.

"Now, use Return!"

Seviper lunged at Edward and Jacob, hissing and readying its attack. Jacob closed his eyes and expected the worst.

When Return hit, the duo were surprised to have barely received any damage at all.

"What was that?" Jacob taunted. "Looks like you're not so close to your Pokemon after all!"

Jessie was now_ fuming_. "HOW _DARE_ YOU SAY THAT, YOU INSIGNIFICANT TWERP? I LOVE MY POKEMON TO _DEATH_!"

"Seviper," Seviper hissed responsively.

"What's going on?" Edward chagrined at the same times James asked.

"Something must be happenin' to make Jessie so strong, and to destroy her connection with her Pokemon," Meowth put in wisely.

Wobbuffet popped out of its Pokeball and gave a grim, "Wobbuffet!"

Wobbuffet was now terribly pail and shivering. The eyes on its tail had a blazing chagrin quality to them.

_"But what is going on?" _James whined.

"Oh, I think _I _know!" Meowth said. "Look - Jessie is massively out-of-character, right?"

James looked at Jessie: eyes filled with wicked intelligence and determination, her beauty accentuated to the point of godliness. "Yup."

"And she's becomin' beautiful, talented and smart, right? She was _never _like this before!"

"Hey!" Jessie whined, aiming a Megaton Punch at Meowth.

"And her Pokemon are massively over-powered! All qualities of a class-A Mary-Sue!"

"I AM NOT A MARY-SUE!" Jessie Screeched, Punching Meowth and launching him upward into the sky.

"But you're so _smart_, Jessie," James pleaded. "How can you _not _see it?"

"I get it!" Jacob declared, slamming his fist into his palm. "Mary-Sues don't recognize their own _sueishness_! Bella still believes she's a plain, old schoolgirl, when she's enchantingly beautiful and interesting."

"She _is _enchanting and beautiful," Edward said with chagrin. "But she's not a Mary-Sue."

"Sues and Stus don't recognize each other," James realized out loud. "But before, Jessie knew Bella was a Sue."

"Ah, but she was told before-hand," Jacob added. "Before she met her."

Meowth slammed into the ground and whimpered.

"Looks like she's turning _into _a Mary-Sue," Meowth mumbled.

"Of _course_," James said, slamming his fist into his palm. "We've been with Bella for so long, her own suishness is rubbing off on us!"

"This would explain all our recent success..."

"Nonsense!" Jessie said. "I'm not a Sue, and our intelligent planning has finally payed off!"

"But why isn't Jessie close to her Seviper anymore?" Edward asked chaginishly. Then he realized, "_Bella_, not that she _is _a Mary-Sue, slowly started losing contact with her friends andfamily after meeting me. She was so drawn in, she started isolating them to be with me all the time. Not that _I'm _a Gary Stu or Mary Sue either..."

"And we all thought it was part of the abuse you put her through," Jacob muttered. "Bot, were the Antis wrong."

"What abuse?"

"So becoming a Mary-Sue or Stu consequently weakens links with those around you," James said. "But if we _all _become Mary-Sues and Stus, will we be close, or break apart?


	8. Chapter 8: A Sue is Absolute!

**A wild VAMPIRE appeared!**

**Go, MEPHENIE STEYER!**

**MEPHENIE used BAD WRITING SKILLS!**

**It's super-effective!**

**Wild VAMPIRE fainted!**

**MEPHENIE gains 258 EXP.**

"This can't be!" Jessie wailed. "We're always going to be a team, no matter what!"

"The status quo says so!" Meowth declared.

"We'll _never _split apart!"

"I love you guys!" James said.

Team Rocket had a group hug.

"Both Bella and Edward are Sues, they stick together," Jacob said, bitterness very clear in his voice.

"We're going to be together forever," Edward said with smug chagrin. "I read ahead."

"Wait, Carnivine was really strong in its battle," James reasoned. "Power Whip? _I _must be turning into a Sue, too!"

"But Jessie is turning into a Sue faster den all of us," Meowth said.

"Maybe the more Sues there are, the faster you change?"

"Yes, but she's been with us all the time, except with Billy-"

"Don't ever say that name!" Jessie said, going into a fetal position.

"And we've all been in the same space with Bella."

"Where _is _Bella?" Edward chagrined.

"Yikes!" Team Rocket yelled. "She was in the balloon!"

"We forgot about her when that Quil fellow helped us," James said. "And we left her with da balloon!" Meowth said. "At least we still have da girl who can become a Pokemon!" Just imagine what DA BOSS would say.."

_Claire would work with DA BOSS, look all cute and no one would attack her. Den, when it was time for battle, _Snap! _We trick da enemies._

_"Thanks to Meowth and his friends," DA BOSS said, "I can pull dirty trick on my opponents! Or maybe I'll sell her for millions of Poke-dollars and spend my days in luxury with Meowth, licking peanut butter off out-"_

"Meowth, this is no time to be fantasizing!" James snapped, whacking Meowth upside the head. "We should be attacking!"

"Why, James, you're oddly competent," Meowth said.

"I don't notice a difference," Jessie remarked.

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet said with great and horrible chagrin.

Then Wobbuffet started to glow.

James gasped, "It Wobbuffet...evolving?"

"It can't be!" Edward cried out with chagrin. "Wobbuffet _can't_ evolve!"

"Unless they introduce an evolution soon," Jacob added.

Wobbuffet stopped glowing. Now...it _sparkled_. It's skin was now a pale sky blue, its tail was white and filled with chagrin, and it could sparkled brighter than a thousand Edward Cullens if it wanted to.

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet chagrined chagrinishly.

Wobbuffet ran to Edward with almost blinding speed. It punched him square in the jaw, launching him through several trees.

"Of _course_!" James said, slamming his fist into his palm. "When the sparkly twerp bit Wobbuffet, it transformed Wobbuffet into a vampire, too!"

"And because Wobbuffet was always with Jessie in its Pokeball, she was effected the most," Meowth concluded.

Rhythmic thumping was heard.

Everyone turned towards Bella-Sue, still in the vacuum bag, hopping furiously towards the group.

"Where have you all been?" she Screeched.

"Bella!" Jacob said, running towards her.

"I actually had to _work _to get here! Bella Swan does _not _work. Holy Murkrow, it was really hard getting up when you fell!"

She hopped closer to Jacob, but fell over and hit her head against a tree.

She was knocked unconscious.

Edward ran over to Bella-Sue chagrinly. "Bella!" he cried chagrinly.

Then Edward fell as the poison started to take its toll on his strained, chagrined body.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Team Rocket laughed.

"Prepare for trouble, prepare for defeat!" Jessie cried out at Jacob.

"For once we win," James added. "Now you're obsolete!"

"We will win!"

"You will lose!"

"We'll steal your Sues!" Meowth added.

"Putting you do-gooders in their place!" Jessie said.

"This time, it'll be _you _blasting off into outer space!" James said.

"Jessie!"

"James"

"Meowth, now dat's a name!" Meowth added.

They add said, "We're Team Rocket, we win the game!"

"Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet added, once more, with _chagrin_!

"Wobbuffet, destroy Team Jacob!" Jessie said as she pointed dramatically at Jacob, a callous grin on her face.

Wobbuffet practically _flew _at Jacob, sending Psywave after Psywave at him.

Jacob was unaffected.

"What?" Jessie screeched unnervingly.

"I'm a Dark-type, Team Rocket," Jacob laughed.

He threw off his shirt and Transformed into a pitch-black Mightyena.

"But I thought he was an Ursaring?"

"Might..._Yena!_" Mightyena'd Jacob, which possibly meant, _"If you read the source material, you'd know that our book series it infamous for plot-holes and retcons. Sure, it's hard to make a perfectly plot-hole-less story, but we can be ridiculous. But it's hard! _You _try writing a book for thousands of pre-teen, desperate girls and snarkers!"_

Meowth paraphrased what Jacob had said to Team Rocket.

"I'm _perfect_, of course I can write perfectly!" Jessie declared. "Wobbuffet!"

Wobbuffet used Psychic to finish Jacob off.

"Alas, now Wobbuffet is a big enough Sue to mess with game mechanics," James chuckled. "Oh, Pikachu would be jealous!"

"Let's grab da twerp and go," Meowth said, digging into a sack and grabbing himself a loaf of bread to chow on.

"Right," Jessie and James said.

They picked Bella-Sue off and ran off.

Since they didn't use their latest Mecha yet, they used their giant Pidgeotto mecha to fly away to Kanto.

By morning they made it to Kanto. Of course, being Team Rocket, the mecha crashed into Veridian Gym due to not having filled up on gas the night before.

DA BOSS ran towards them and barked, "What are you doing here? What have you done to my Gym?"

Jessie exited though the mecha's beak and threw Bella-Sue on the ground towards him. Bella-Sue was still in the vacuum bag, struggling to breathe.

"We got your Sue!" Jessie declared.

Meowth and James jumped out of the mecha's beak. Meowth said, "Meowth, that's right!"

"But you destroyed my _Gym_!" DA BOSS said furiously.

"But we also got you the best Mary-Sue in the Pokemon world!" James provided.

"Hi, Daddy," Bella-Sue wheezed.

"Hello, honey," DA BOSS said to her casually. "Your mother is at home, if you want to see her now.

"Thanks."

"What?" Team Rocket snapped.

"What is this?" Meowth roared.

"Oh, yes," DA BOSS said with an angry chuckle. "I'm her step-father. It was Bella's idea to use Mary-Sues. She suggested that Mary-Sueishness is contagious. I decided to simultaneously bring her back home and have her test her theory on you three."

"So we're ginuea-pigs?" Jessie cried.

"Yes."

"And you all fell for it," Bella laughed tiredly. "It was all my plan to get out of the Forks Region. You've seen it, you know how it's like being there."

"I don't like being used!" James said, holding a Pokeball. "Carnivine, let's go!"

Carnivine left the ball and gave James a hug.

"Carnivine, let go!"

"You fools!" DA BOSS barked. "You're not in Forks anymore, you can't catch Sue anymore."

"Does that mean Bella isn't a Sue?" Jessie and Meowth asked together.

"No, she's still a Sue!"  
"Am not!" Bella-Sue barked. Then she let out a long wheeze.

"Vampires and those born in Forks are Mary-Sues and Stus; they can be Mary-Sues in other Regions, but they can only spread their Sueish qualities when they're in they're home Region. And those who were once effected by them start to lose their Sueish-ness once they leave."

"So Bella's becoming a normal girl as we speak!" Jessie said.

Several police officers and Officer Jenny ran towards them.

"You are under arrest!" Jenny said.

"Ah?" But what for?" DA BOSS asked calmly.

"We heard you: planning to spread Mary-Sues and dabbling with the construction of Mary-Sues is an illegal offense!"

"But there are no Sues here, none of them are from Forks."

"Yes, but if your plan to create an army of Sues is true-"

"It's not...Okay, I was planning to do that, but I'd need a vampire to make their transition to Sue permanent."

"Whatever, DA BOSS! You're still under arrest for conspiracy. We can't have another Ritchie on our hands."

"Don't forget kidnapping," Meowth said, throwing the bag that contained Claire at the feet of DA BOSS.

Everyone stared at him.

Meowth ripped open the sack and said to Claire, "We freed you! That man over there kidnapped you and we were rescuing you!"

"What?" Claire cried out. "I'm scared."

"Next time you conspire and kidnap children," Jenny said to DA BOSS, don't create a giant explosion that attracts the police to your headquarters. Look, I can see the Team Rocket Grunts having breakfast in your Gym...or what's left of it.

Team Rocket then ran off, leaving behind the crime scene, Bella, people and food.

They decided to rest in Veridian Forest, a distance away from the scene they caused.

"That was lucky!" Jessie wheezed.

"But why did you turn against DA BOSS, Meowth?" James asked.

"Simple," Meowth said. "He went too far this time, and I don't want to be da top cat to a jerk like that!"

"Well, I learned something today," Jessie said.

"What is it?"

"Being a Mary-Sue is fun for a while, but they're poorly-written and annoying. No one likes them. Not to mention they isolate you from your friends, unless they become Sues, too."

"Right, so let's forget this whole thing happened and try to avoid Mary-Sues forever!" James said.

"WOBBUFFET!" Wobbuffet declared chagrinly.

Wobbuffet started sparkling so bright that all Bug Pokemon in the forest drew closer and were zapped by the light, not unlike a Bug-type zapper.

"Oh no!" Team Rocket cried.

"Wobbuffet's a Gary-Stu!" Jessie cried. "But how?"

"Remember when Giovanni mentioned something about Sues?" Meowth said. "That Sues born in Forks _and vampires _stay Sues."

"But how do we turn Wobbuffet back?"

"I don't think we can," James said with a sigh. "If we could cure Sues, Forks wouldn't be a blacklisted Region."

"WOBBUFFET!" Wobbuffet Wobbuffetted chagrinly to Meowth. It moved its arms up and down with chagrin.

"What did it say?" Jessie begged.

"Wobbuffet says..." Meowth hesitated.

"What?"

"_'Kill me.'_"


End file.
